Hunger Strike

I've struggled for a long time to find something to believe in. Every young adult wants a cause, some slogan that they can shout on the steps of their capital until their voice goes hoarse. Still, the idea of the over-dedicated undergrad who fills his or her weekends with poetry slams, acid trips, and protests against everything from KFC chicken to the word "nigger" has always made me roll my eyes. It just seems too trendy to be authentic.

Now, I am far from being a conservative and do consider myself pretty progressive. I just believe that being an activist for thirty different causes is counter productive. Or maybe I just haven't found a cause for which I'm willing to chain myself to the gate of the White House for.

I'm stuck in Shimla for an extra night due to a misunderstanding of the bus schedule and a broken cell phone (now fixed). Shimla is shockingly beautiful. At two thousand something meters, it is built, cum Quebec, on the face of a mountain and crowned with a large white Anglican church from which a neon green cross shines after sunset. It was developed as a retreat for the British rulers from Delhi's sweltering summers and my Dad used to vacation here as a child. If you stand next to the church, you can see the Himalayas peaking out from behind the densely forested, dark green mountains. The main street steeply zigzags down the face of the mountain and is called, "The Mall." Just as it makes its first descending turn, there is a line of Tibetan refugees camped on the side of the street. They are on hunger strike. I can't even look them in the eye.

I respect these people so much and yet feel so ashamed. The situation in Tibet is wrong. No one cam deny that China should grant these people the right to self-determination and the practice of Tibetan Buddhism or stop violently queling peaceful protests.

Am I guilty? Che (not exactly my hero) said, "knowledge makes us accountable," but how sustainable is that belief? If you chase two rabits, they will both get away. Nobody, from myself to the President of the United States, can turn every wrong they witness into some personal crusade. Nothing would be achieved. So, what do I do? The prospects of choosing between apathy and pointless over-involvement until I find a cause is bleak. What if I never find one? Do I ignore injustice? When you live in such a global society, how do you choose where to throw your heart?

I just wish I knew a way to get this pit out of my stomach.